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My Public Journal

This page is where I will record all my thoughts, plans, etc. just in case you want to take a peek into my boring day to day life and thoughts.. Enjoy! 

If you want to holla back at me, and let me know how you're doin, forget the phone or Facebook! Throw me a comment in my new blog Guestbook. It's on my homepage, or just Click HERE

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Will it take me another 5 years to update this? lol Sheesh.
I thought this site was gone for good. I checked up on it to find my poetry, and the site was gone. Apparently my page of Sex Jokes was too much for the good people at Tripod, so they removed the whole site. I'm so glad I was able to get it back!
Websites like this are so.. 2001. lol now there's the world of Facebook. But I think I'll try to keep this site up and running for as long as possible, for sentimental reasons if nothing else. What a blast from the past!

If you're reading this, whoa. lol I must have directed you from Facebook, so you already know the goodness of my life at this point. I just changed my name to Shayna, last week. I work 2 jobs for the first time in my life, and it's exhausting. lol Titan is 6 now, wears glasses, and you should hear him read! He's amazing <3.
Thor Hinz deserves a special shout out of course, and I don't know if he'll ever even read this page. But for we've been dating for two and a half years now, we're engaged, getting married August 2, 2014, and it's been a whirlwind. So proud to call him my best friend. We're slowly but surely building our life together, and soon we will be living on our own. I'm excited!
Maybe we'll have a baby of our own. Maybe we'll travel. The future is bright :)

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Wow.. so its been 3 years already. So much has happened since my last post, so I guess I should get right to it. December of 2006, we got pregnant with our big, strong and healthy son, Titan. He was born August of 2007. Fastforward to October of 2008, Allen and I bought our first house. Hurray no more apartments and crappy landlords! :)
We have been able to celebrate 5 major holidays in our new home so far, so it has been really great. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and now soon to be Easter!
It's very hard to believe that I have been away from this for so long, as it was such a vital part of my online life! But now my days are filled with Facebook, and being a stay at home mom to 19 month old Titan, and loving every minute of it :) Even the hour and a half of sleep I got lastnight. lol
Allen and I are godparents now, to a gorgeous bundle of joy named Aiden, who is 6 months old and the cutest little chubby asian baby that you ever did see! We look forward to spoiling him rotten, and watching him and his "brother" Titan grow up together and play :)
Life has changed so much for me, and I am proud to say that the grief counselling I received that I spoke about in my last post, really helped me a lot. I have definitely grown wiser, and matured, and continue to have a good head on my shoulders, and love and appreciate life in a way that most people cant, without losing a child and gaining some perspective. Every moment is a gift, and every accomplishment your child makes should be celebrated. Even the little daily things. It breaks my heart now to witness parents losing control and yelling at their kids or treating them unfairly.

We dont plan on having any more children, as we have been blessed with the ones we've been given. And every day seems to be more special than the last :)

Even better news, is I think I've figured out what I am really passionate about, and will begin as a hobby, and hopefully flourish it into a career one day. An advice columnist. Soon I will be looking into, and creating a new website or forums, through which I can help people with their everyday problems, with a clear view and sound advice. Wish me luck! And hopefully it wont take me 3 years to update this again! lol
Ciao. <3

Sunday, July 16th, 2006
Well, Allen and I just got home from our weeklong vacation spent out in Falcon Lake, MB. We took his 14 year old niece Gaetana with us, and then my Dad and stepmom came out for the last few days. It was a good break from all the stress here in the city.. Nice to enjoy the sun, nature, the beach, and the friendly strangers. Looking after a 14 year old girl is a HUGE undertaking, and we're about ready to check ourselves into a psyche ward, but oh well. She gets picked up tomorrow morning, and then we will be able to relax and get back to life! We took lots of pics, and I uploaded a few of me into the "New Pics of Me" in the PhotoAlbum. So take a look!
Thats all for now... ttyl
P.S. I just read it over, and realized I haven't mentioned something crucial... Anasophia, mentioned in the post below this one, has passed away :( She became an angel on her 4 month birthday, May 23rd. A whole website I made is dedicated to her as previously mentioned, which is now a memorial page. We love and miss her SO much :( It's hard going on without her. I will soon be getting 4 tattoo's in memory of her. Her feet on the top of my feet (her left on my left, her right on my right), and the same with the top of my hands (her left handprint on top of my left hand, etc). The funeral home was nice enough to give us several copies of her hand and footprints, so this way I can carry her on my feet whereever I go in life, and hold her hands on mine. A nice symbolic tribute to her... Very special to me. First though, as my mom suggested, I'm going to get them Henna tatooed on first, to make sure I like the concept and can live with it. Then once that wears off, it'll be off to the tattoo parlour, which we're hoping to have done when we drive down to Florida next year! That will be a nice 2 week vacation, starting with a roadtrip straight from Winnipeg to Fort Lauderdale, making sure to stop in Atlanta Georgia as we pass through, and take a tour of the aquarium there.. which is one of the largest in the world! It will be amazing, and a great way to travel and bond together, getting on with our lives after losing our precious Ana. Her crib is still set up along with all her blankets.. kinda hard when I start thinking of taking it all down.. Makes me feel like I'm trying to forget her or something... Luckily, I'm seeing a grief counsellor now through work, and thats refreshing to have someone to vent to for an hour each week. Gives Allen's ear a nice rest :P Well, thats all for now. Shoot me an email or a message on MSN if you'd like to talk! bye

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
I can't believe I haven't updated this since early January!
Well I have a beautiful daughter named Anasophia now :) She was born on the 23rd of January, and has her own site! Check her out at  It's no surprise to anyone that I've been contact with lately, but she has dwarfism. But don't worry, because it is the best thing that could have happened! She won't walk until she is 2 (which will make things a whole lot easier between now and then), and she will stay small her whole life :) Allen and I are so proud of the family we have created, and everything is going great! My stepmom Linda threw me a babyshower last month, and we got a ton of great stuff, and hopefully sometime soon I will pick a date for my own babyshower, so all my friends can attend! I'm thinking it will be on the 23rd of April.. since that will be Ana's 3 month birthday :)
She is such a blessing in our lives, and motherhood is so much easier than everyone makes it sound!! She is a very happy baby who sleeps a lot, and has the most expressive eyes you'll ever see! I love my Anasophia!! And I'm the proudest mommy ever :)

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
Well here I am again, less than 2 weeks away from motherhood! I wish I could say that its been nothing but fun times this pregnancy, but truth is ive been very very sick, and spent all this past weekend in bed with excrutiating back pain. :(  Allen has been my angel though, helping however he could and taking care of me. I love you Allen soooo much :)
Other than that, I'm trying to recover as fast as possible, and trying to enjoy whats left of my already short maternity leave before I have Anasophia. I'm not sure if I mentioned on here yet that I'm having a C-section delivery, but I am and that alone will have me in bed afterwards for a good 4-6 weeks :S ...
Ahh I can't wait until all of this pain is over and Allen and I can sit back and thoroughly enjoy our little bundle :)
Be Strong, Ana. Mommy and Daddy Love You <3

Monday, December 26th, 2005
Merry Christmas!! I hope it treated everyone well :)
Good news!! As of January 5th, I start my maternity leave! and the baby is coming on January 23rd. Ack thats so soon!!
Allen and I are doing great, and we're very excited to be receiving our little bundle of joy :)
I don't know what else to write... :P so i guess I'll end it here.
Happy New Year!

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
Well! My birthday is only a few days away, and I'll be 21! Ahh that sounds so young :P But things are good, the baby is good, and the snow has fallen!! And I'm completely in the holiday mood :) Allen and I finally got our apartment finished and organized, and tomorrow we pick up our crib! So everything is coming together :)
I miss hanging out with people though, so someone call me and ask me to hangout dammit! :P Working midnights makes it kinda hard to socialize, but I try and make my weekends accessible!
I'll be enrolling in school next month for an Interior Design degree, as well as taking my road test for my drivers licence!! I'm a good driver :) I just gotta try parallel parking more.. I totally hate it <_<
Oh, and Allen and I have a baby bunny! :) I bought her 2 weeks ago, and she is a little over 2 months old, and so cute!! Her name is Twix (like the chocolate bar), and she is very friendly, smart, and energetic :) We love her lots, and she provides us with a lot of bonding time.. so its awesome!
Thats it for now.. Happy Holidays!!

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
Well, I know it's been awhile since I last posted! But there are certain people who I didn't want knowing anything about my life now.. But now I don't care, so I'll fill you all in :)
Allen and I have been living together for a few months now, and we're moving into an apartment next week, so thats really exciting!! We also work together on the midnight shift, so everything is great with us :)
Also, here's a shocker to anyone I haven't talked to in months.. Allen and I are 5 months pregnant, and happy as hell about it :) The pregnancy is going great, and everything is normal. Due date is February 3rd, 2006!
Any of you that were around when an exbestfriend of mine got pregnant last year, and knew my opinion about it (i was against it), you may be thinking I'm a tad hypocritical.. but I choose to look at it like this: I do not have the immature mentality of a 16 year old, where I think its ok to party and smoke during my pregnancy, nor do I have a psycho loser boyfriend.. my family and friends are supporting me 100%, as are Allens, and while we know it will be a struggle, we are totally up for the challenge :)
As for MY health, things took a slight turn for the worst recently when I went to the emergency room sunday night, after suffering all day from severe back pain. I thought it was the baby positioned wrong and pressing against my back, but when I got there and was tested, they told me I have a kidney infection! :( Then they informed me I'd be staying overnight. Allen was a sweetheart and came and saw me on monday morning, and stayed until i was discharged :) Now I'm at home relaxing, with the week off work, and taking my prescribed medication to fight off the infection.. So thats been a little stressful!
Well, thats the update for now.. need to get ahold of me? send me a message on my blog! It's pretty much the only thing I check these days.. ttyl :)

Wednesday, April 13th, 2005

Well i just finished reading my posts going back a few months, and I found it to be pretty funny how much my outlook on life has changed in only a few months time. To start, I finally have some idea of what I want to accomplish in my life, and that is to own my own business and be an Interior Decorator. Second, I have my beginners drivers licence now! although I still havent gotten behind the wheel yet.. still too afraid I think. Next, I have little to no interest in fraternities or drinking anymore. Hmm what else has changed.. I'm sick of making no money, but.. thats no different :P one of my most important goals at the moment is to save up money, so Allen and I can afford a downpayment on a house. His big goal is to save up to buy me a big fat engagement ring, but i'd much rather have a house first :P .. This Friday, I'll be making an appearance at the Barca Club in Wpg, at some rave/party thats being held there, so that should be pretty cool I think.. Life is good, money would be better, and I've rethought my life-motto .. it used to be 'Love your enemies, it drives them nuts" which is TRUE, but now its back to being Hakuna Matata.. and not just because i watched The Lion King today :P but also because its an ideal I hold very true to my life. Don't worry about things, don't get stressed out, just enjoy life, have fun no matter what you do, don't be so damn intense all the time, and do what makes you happy. Simple!
I'll check in next month to update this again, until then, take care!

Sunday, February 27th, 2005
Well well well.. I have a job now! I work at a new hotel downtown as housekeeping! It's freakin hard physically.. but its cool :) I've never worked this hard at a job before, and it feels kinda good, believe it or not :p
Today is my dad's birthday! Umm I think he's ... 47 now? I've lost count *blush* Other than that, Allen and I are better than ever.. and by summer, we may just be living in our own apartment! Atleast I hope so..
Gotta start working out again and doing cardio though.. gotta get ready for the summer.
Until then, take care!

Friday, January 28th, 2005
Allen, I love you so very much. You are my bestfriend, soulmate, and perfect match.You let me know everyday how beautful you think I am, and how much I mean to you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the very best :)
This coming Tuesday, February 2nd, is our 1 year anniversary! It's crazy to think that a year has gone by already... As for me, I'm getting back into the job-searching game, I've figured out that as my future career I want to be an Interior Decorator, and I'm seeing some progress on getting my abs to show! Other than that, Allen and I are doing great, Cimi is healthy again, and my friends are great!
Life is Good! :)

Friday, December 3rd, 2004
Well, it's now 10 months as of today that Allen and I are together :) And despite our clashing views and strong opinions sometimes, we love eachother more than ever :) I love you Allen sooo much! My handsome prince! :)
OKOK enough mushyness lol.. What can I say.. I'm 20 now!! although it sounds soo young :S and Christmas is almost here, but I haven't started shopping yet.. or even thinking about shopping. Mostly because I have no money :P Oh! and surprise, surprise, I quit my job at Burger King.. crap job..Cara and I never did end up working together.. $7 an hour.. 45 mins on the bus just to get to work! No more of that for me, I applied for a fulltime job, and I'm just waiting to hear from it:) Yay money! Oh and in August I'm going back to school to finish my Health Unit Clerk degree! Soo everything is cool right now. Oh and court? Well we went but it didnt go to trial because of the pettyness of the amount of money being asked for. So the judge demanded that they settle for a smaller amount, I agreed so that they wouldnt ruin their credit by losing :P, and I ended up paying them a whopping $34. Haha!  Isn't it funny when 20 year olds think they are responsible and mature enough to do adult things?? I never pretend to be mature :P but I also pride myself on being educated... Mwhaha but oh well.. Cest la vie! ttyl :)

Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
Well Allen came to Thanksgiving Dinner with my dads family on monday, it went good and everyone thinks he's great! :) Umm Linda and Ryan actually served me with papers.. I can't remember if I wrote about that already.. but anyways I filed a Counterclaim, and the court date is set 2 days before my birthday :@ But ahh it'll feel nice to win! :) Allen's bday is coming up on the 30th, so to be festive for Halloween, Cara and her bf Shawn (new pics in the photoalbum!) and Allen and I, will be going for a romantic hayride and stuff :) Hmm what else... Working at BurgerKing is cool... Cara and I will be working days together starting next week!
Other than that, not much is new... Still Damn you people! Sign my guestbook! blah :P lol ttyl

Tuesday, Sept 28th, 2004
What an emotional start to the week... It started with Ryan calling me on sunday, and telling me that they think I owe them money for bills for the 2 weeks i lived with them, and that they want to take me to Small Claims Court. then Allen trying to break up with me Sunday night, then monday after work, a rough native guy who was high on solvent, tried hitting on me to the point where it was close to being sexual assault! But thankfully, Allen realized how much I mean to him, and now we're better! SO MUCH better... We're more in love than we were before, because losing someone and then realizing how great you had it, is a painful painful experience. And neither of us want to relive that day from hell, so we're together now and forever :) Ahh I love him so much, and he knows it. I love you Allen!!! ok well I'm gonna get back to my msn convo's. By the way! I do work at Burger King now, and tonight was my 5th shift! It's pretty good... my back is killing me from all the cleaning though :S .. but yeah, you all take care!

Thursday, Sept 17th, 2004
All is well in my world :) Yesterday my friend Cara (her grad pic is in my PhotoAlbum) helped me move my stuff from Linda's, into my moms. my dad helped too, and now all there is left there is furniture, and me Sean and my dad are going to go get that stuff on Saturday. Tonight I hung out with Justin and Niko for a bit, who both totally crack me up :), and last night Allen came and spent the night :D <3 . So it's all been good! I went and applied at BK in Portage Place today, so i hope i get that.. and other than that, everythings rollin! Once money starts to flow, I'll be in even better spirits! Imagine that! Anyways my friend Rob L sent me the pic he took of me 2 days ago, so its in my PhotoAlbum now. Be warned, its crappy! lol anyways.. i'll keep you all updated on my happiness and sanity! Take care! And thank you to Allen, Cara, Shawn, my Dad, My mom, Justin, Niko, Rob M, Rob L, and Sean, for all being so great and supportive!. ttyl

Monday, September 13th, 2004
First I need to clear something up.. lol a few people have read my sunday post, and congradulated ME on being pregnant! lol .. thanks, but Linda is the pregnant one. I am happily healthy, NOT pregnant, and yeah... second. things have gotten worse here, and I'm ready to leave. Linda blew up at me 2 days ago, and told me to move out. So thats what im planning to do, asap. I'va already talked to my brother today about it, and later I'll talk to my mom, and hopefully she'll let me move back into her place. As stressful as it was to live there, it will be heaven compared to the stress im under here. Anyways, I'm gonna go shower now.. I just want to say Thank You to Allen for being so great, loving, and supportive through all this. I love you honey bun :)
I'm out! ttyl guys

Sunday, September 5th, 2004
Well it's been a week and a half living with Ryan and Linda, and Ryan's great.. lol. Anyone who has been in my presence this past week will surely recognize a person who is miserable. That would be me. Pregnant women are Horrible creatures, and I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to be subjected to their sarcastic bitchy moody fits of depression. I flipped out finally on Linda, and Ryan was sitting right there, but I hope he didnt take any offense to it. He's a great roomate.. and I have no bad thoughts towards him whatsoever. Linda on the other hand is driving me fricken insane. I NEED a job. 2 jobs.. both parttime.. that way if im not at work, i can be out with friends or at Allens house. Anywhere but at home watching Linda be lazy. Now you may be finding this rant a little insulting, since Linda and I have been practical bestfriends on and off for almost 5 years. I've always known that I don't get along with females, and now I know that I can't stand pregnant ones even more. Are all pregnant females like this?? If they are, then I can't blame guys for being "irresponsible" and leaving. If I had to face a monster every morning, I'd stop coming back too.
What a mood im in today, eh? Actually I'm in a wonderful mood today :) I went for breakfast this morning (early morning) with my mom, and we had great bonding time, talking and eating, and me hearing stories about what a wonderful baby I was, and how I'm great :) It was a nice change from people telling me that I need an attitude adjustment. I think my attitude is perfectly fine! Sure, I'm a tad on the negative side sometimes.... lol ... but as my mother said, Strong willed children are something to be proud of. It means they wont be easily swayed by others, they will stand up for whatever they believe, and they WILL NOT be pushed around. Yay Im a blissful person!!! :) lol ok so maybe im no angel....
On another topic, I figure I would start at the beginning of how Allen and I met, since I didn't mention anything about him in any of my earlier posts over the past year and a half. He is the love of my life afterall, so I feel I owe him a lot of acknowledgement.
It was a beautiful sunny day, the birds were chirping, the white cottonball clouds were strewn across the bright blue sky. Golden sunshine painted my bedroom floor, illuminating the.... lol just kidding. Here's how it started: Linda knew Allen before I did.. back in the days when we were "ravers" at Galaxy Skateland. He worked there for a short while.. and somehow she got to know him. They talked quite a bit (so she said) .. and then they hung out once or twice. Anyways she developed a huge crush on him they kissed, and then she heard a rumor that he had a girlfriend already! So she got me to add him to my msn so I could talk to him, find out if he was a cheater, and to bitch him out if he did turn out to have a girlfriend. Well, turned out he was single, and the girl spreading the rumor was Marley his ex thing. Once I started talking to him I could tell why Linda crushed on him. We talked over MSN for awhile, before continuing the conversation over the phone. For months we talked about anything and everything, while I went through my boyfriends, moodswings, and we grew close. This was all around... Jan-May 2003. Then I met Val, and I started going out with him. Lost touch with Allen for those few weeks, and when Val left for Europe, slowly I got back in touch with Allen, and we met finally in August. It was a great friendship we'd made, and when we met face to face, Allen fell in love with me :) .. We met at the Nicaraguan Folklorama Pavillion where Allen was working that week, and it was just an unforgettable night. We talked a little, mostly sat staring into eachothers eyes, and we slowdanced to what became our song. We were so into eachother that Allen's boss let him leave early. I went with him back to his moms that night, and we spent 3 days together. A few weeks after that, his bestfriend at the time Chad, lied to him, telling him that I had cheated on Allen with him! and well, needless to say that made Allen hate me, so he stopped talking to me and that was it until.. december. For some reason Allen messaged me on MSN, and even though I had deleted him from my list a long time before, I felt like I really wanted to give him a chance to talk to me again. So I did, and we talked, and we decided to meet at Galaxy one night to see eachother again. That night was hell to start with. No cabs were available, no buses were running from my end of town, and I almost had a breakdown before I finally gave in and asked my mom to drive me there. I was 3 hours late, didnt even know if he'd still be there, but figured I had to go anyways. I just had to. I walked in and looked around, and there he was out on the floor, rollerblading, busy talking to his friend Curtis. They didnt see me, so I went over and got some rollerskates, my eyes still locked on them as they rolled farther away. I went to concession, put on my skates, and headed out to the skating floor. Seeing them just a few feet ahead of me, I skated up behind them and put my hands on each of their shoulders. "Hello boys," I cooed, and they both turned and looked. Allens eyes and mine locked, and that was it. The room swirled around us for the next few hours, our hands clasped together, and I didnt notice much of anything else. It was like a movie.. I felt funny, almost dreamy.. All I could see was him. I couldnt take my eyes off him... and I didnt want to. His hand felt so good in mine, the floor felt so smooth under us, and the music was just beating around us. I dont even remember hearing the words to the songs. I was lost in my own little snow globe. Reflections from the disco ball floated around us, taking the place of snow, and there I was, my little heart frosted up like a snowman. Until he kissed me a little later. Then my heart melted. At the end of the night after the lights were turned on, it was time for all of the goodbye hugs, goodbye kisses, and exchanging of phone numbers.. the Galaxy usual. I followed Allen around like a puppy dog.. not wanting to let him go.. afraid of not seeing him again. He gave me his phone number again, I think I gave him mine, and I watched him leave with Chad and a friend. I couldnt wait to get home and call him. I cant even remember how I got home that night.. I think Linda drove me.. maybe I took the bus.. I just remember how good it felt to get home , call his number, and hear his voice. We hung out again a few weeks later, or maybe it was a few days.. I just remember him coming over to my apartment and how shy we both were. Lovestruck, I like to call it. I asked him to be my boyfriend, then he asked me to be his girlfriend, and ever since then, on the night of the 2nd at 2 am, or the early morning of the 3rd, we've gotten better and better. 7 months we've reached now, and we have many more months to go. I love him so much. He makes me feel im incredible. He makes me want to be a better me. I would do anything to make him smile and be proud of me..God how I love his smile.   :)
Well, this is getting to be quite the long post.. so I think I'll end it now by saying this.. I love you Allen. Together Forever my love-love. You're the best :)
Now as for everyone else.. if you're gagging by now and rolling your eyes, go to hell and be happy for me :P lol ttyl

Tuesday Ctnd

I love you Allen :)

Tuesday, August 24th, 2004

Ok I'm back. Hmmm what to tell.. Linda, Ryan and I finally got the keys to our place today! It's a pricey $700 a month, but it'll due for the time being. As for me and Allen, we're doing great, almost reaching 7 months :) ... Linda's baby is due anytime in October/November, so yay I'll be an aunty again :) and hmm..
September 18th is the Delta Upsilon Fraternity Social at Archwood Community Club.. They're good friends of mine so you'll be sure to have a good time, and tickets are only $5!!! Lemme know if anyone wants to come, the more the merrier! It'll be a good night to let loose, drink hard and party harder!
I'm looking for jobs atm, thinking of applying at a little corner store near where Allen lives/works.. so that should be cool. and tomorrow is moving day. Bleh I don't wanna move yet :( I've been staying with Allen since friday night, and I like our alone time!! :( But having Linda and Ryan as roomates should be fun.. its seems im good at pissing them off :) lol.
My dad finally met Allen today, because he happened to drop by my moms when Allen Linda and I were there packing some of my stuff. They seem to get along pretty good.. and Dad, if you're reading this, Allen thinks you're really nice (which I already told him you are) :) ..
So yeah.. it's 11:55pm now, so I should get back to Allen and our movie. We gotta be up at 7 am to move >.< ... tty all later. oh and i'll be back at my old apartment phone # as of Sept 1st.. so if anyone still remembers it, feel free to call me up! (253 TWIT) .. bye guys.. love all of yall ;)

Saturday July 24th, 2004
Holy shit its been awhile!!! anyways I can't explain much but.. Allen and I have been goin out for almost 6 months now :) And I got kicked outta my apartment in June for not paying rent >.< but im moving out soon with my bestfriend Linda and her Fiance Ryan.. (im living at my moms right now) Other than that, I'm doin good!! Hang in there budddddddies.. ttyl

October 26th, 2003
Holy crap.. its been a lonnnnnnng time. Hi! lol.. Well I work for NewFlyer Industries now.. thats in Transcona, and last saturday I got the keys to my new apartment! Thats right.. I have my own 1 bedroom apartment now in Southdale. Its pretty sweet. went and bought myself a leather couch yesterday :)
Geez there's so much to say, and yet I can't think of anything.. well Val is still in Europe, and has fallen in love with a girl there. Some of you may be thinking, "he Whaaaat?" but I'm happy for him, because he's a good friend, and I want him to be happy :) and.. well its 8:30pm, and Dave and I started going back out about 15 mins ago. It sure is nice to be loved, and I just know that things are going to be great! He's a major sweetheart:)
Umm.. I'm going to be having numerous housewarming parties, so once I get the dates all figured out, I'll try my very best to get ahold of everyone and invite you all to check out my new pad! Gotta get back to watching Joe Schmo, so ttyl!
Love you all,

Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
Well I'm on campus again.. came straight here from the airport after Val's plane left at 2pm :( He's gone now for probly about 6 months, maybe more, maybe less.. and I miss him already. He's such a sweety! OK OK enough mushyness... its now 3:15, and I'm gonna go to the library right now to study for my test, I just thought I'd update this first. Yep I have a test at 6 on the Cardiovascular System, and I've barely studied :S.. so now I must go do that. Saw Charlie's Angels 2 with Kendra, it was super good, made me feel like kicking ass afterwards! Umm I think I've been pissing off my Dad and Linda majorly these past 2 weeks by spending so many nights at Val's.. but oh well, things can be back to normal now. I will be rehearsing everyday for the play, and stupidly I told my dad the name of it. I told him he can't come see it though, so I hope he listens to me! If I see any of my relatives in the audience with camera's, I'm just going to die on the spot. That should make for an interesting twist in the play, eh? lol.. anyways time to study.. gotta get a good mark! Wish me luck! ttyl
Love Always, Shana <3

Thursday, July 3rd, 2003
Well we've begun rehearsing for Thane's play! If anyone's wondering what its called, TOO DAMN BAD! I dont want anyone I know to come see it. Which is why my parents dont even know about it.
Anyways booooo hoooo Val is leaving on Tuesday :( I will miss him lots.
I'm on campus right now, and I should be heading back to class.. just wrote a test on Skin, and i think I got 35 or 36 out of 39!! go meeeeee! :D
Yay another rehearsal tomorrow! My characters name is Heidi.. she's a lesbian film creator who loves her cats.. hmmm suits me, eh? NOT :P But i love it.. and tomorrow night im gonna take my cousin Kendra to a movie for her birthday! coolness! Shit look at the time i gotta run... ttyl!!

Thursday, June 26th, 2003
Well I'm on campus right now, waiting for my class to get started in 15 mins.. Just so you all know, I quit Ipsos Reid this week. I'm looking for a new job, applied at Roger's Video yesterday. I hope I get hired :)
Val and I are dating now (a week today) and everything is sweet. We've been spending lots of time together before he leaves on the 8th, and we're having a blast together :)
School was kinda tough at first, got 37/52 on my first test.. but that's a pretty decent mark considering I only answered 39 questions! lol
Hmm what else.. things are going ok on the home front.. Dad and I are back to our normal good relationship :) Linda is still annoying as hell, but meh.. what can you do, right? Women are too god-damn territorial.
And yes Michael.. Thank you for pointing out that I spelled Genius wrong in my last entry. So now I'm acknowledging my mistake. Which makes you offically an asshole for pointing it out.. I do believe if you scroll down to my VERY FIRST journal entry, it says that I'm allowed to make all the spelling and grammar mistakes I want, because this is MY journal. but hey. I'm not bitter.

Thurs. ctnd
Oh! And I almost forgot! I start my next College course on Tuesday :) Anatomy and Medical Terminology! woo hooooo .. and I got my transcript for my Intro to Microcomputers class in the mail, and I got an A+ :D my GPA is now 4.5! that makes me sound like a genious!

Thursday, June 12th, 2003
Well what to say.. Wow it's been a long time since I've updated this thing! Were you thinking that I dropped off the face of the earth? :P Probly not since I'm always on MSN.. but here's whats been goin on.. I'm single (as I have been for awhile now) and having a great time meeting new friends, and going on casual dates. :) And I'm considering moving out.. but I'm not sure if I'm completely ready... little bird's first step out of the nest, and I'm afraid of falling :P ... and that sounds horrible since my last name is Robbins...... lol geez I walked right into that one.
But anyways! I really want to find a dayjob that pays more than $8.75 (or equal to is fine i guess) .. because working evenings at Ipsos is killing my reliability at work, and my social life. I keep calling in sick whenever I want to go out instead of work, and I've done that WAY too much. Everyone keeps telling me I'm gonna get fired.. and I dont disagree. I'm prepared for it :P I just know my dad will freak.
Hmm what else.. Goalies are sweet ;) and so are Martini's (which i recently tried at Red Lobster.. mmmm), and hey I saw Trent today, my buddddddy, and yeah things have been pretty good! I just really wanna find myself a good daytime job. working evenings sucks!
OK I'm out.. ttyl
Love Always, Shana

Friday, May 9th, 2003
I went to bed at 3am this morning, and was awoken by a loud thumping on my door "It's 11:30! get out of bed!", my dad yelled. Then he opened the door and I told him to shut up and go away, i didnt need to get up because I didnt work today, its Friday. I threw the blanket over my head, and he muttered "I have something important to tell you." so i said "what" and looked at him. "Jeff Spencer died last night in his sleep.sometime between midnight and 8 this morning. Funeral will probly be on Monday, I've gotten several phone calls today telling me, and I just thanked them. I've spoken to your mother too, so she knows and we'll all be going to the funeral." I looked at the ceiling, and he closed my door and went downstairs. Tears flooded my eyes and i buried my face in my pillow. Jeff Spencer.. 23 year old happy, big kid. Died during his sleep. I've heard that he had a seizure, and the seizure made him vomit, and he choked on it. Gory details i know, but its serious. My best friend since I can barely remember.. was Melanie Spencer. Jeff's 2nd youngest sister. I practically lived at their house growing up; went on family trips with them, slept over countless nights, and could always be found somewhere around their house. Jeff was the coolest guy. A big kid. Always having water fights when it was really hot, making a HUGE snow fortress in his backyard when it was really cold, and gathering all the kids on the street together for one massive game of Hide and Seek all year round. He started me on my hockey card collection, told me in great detail of each Star Wars and Star Trek ship models he had on various shelves around his room, and was constantly either laughing or being mad. They had several holes in the walls of their house, mostly all I heard were caused by Jeff having a fit. They never fixed them, and I wonder if they will now... The basement was half his room, and also the family tv/office room. God I feel horrible for all of them. (Justin remember when we are at BP, and I saw my old bestfriend but was too shy to go talk to her? That was Melanie. :( ) Now i heavily regret not going to say hi. I'm going to give her the biggest hug at the funeral -we think its monday or tuesday, not sure yet-. I'm going to give them all big hugs. Usually at funerals I try and be tough. No crying for me, it just makes everyone sadder. But not for this one. I'm gonna try and push that "toughness" ego aside, and concentrate on how bad i feel for them. I havent really seen/ talked to them in about 5 years. So now I feel stupid for waiting that long to talk to any of them. I've been way too selfish, and my message is this:
     Don't waste time. Life is too short to hold grudges, or be selfish, like having the attitude "Melanie wants me to call her? why doesnt SHE call me?" Everything is so stupid. Every reason for a fight is so stupid. Treasure your friends and family that you have. Even the ones that you havent seen in a long time. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Rest In Peace Jeff Spencer. 1979-2003.

Friday, April 25th, 2003
Hmm.. not really sure what to put in this new entry.. A lot of crap has been happening lately. This past Wednesday, Dave broke up with me :( it had been a week since I saw him last, and was wondering slightly what was going on, when he sprung it on me. I was devastated as hell, cried for 6 hours straight, and decided against going to work. Missed the pizza party for my team, which i had been looking forward to all week, but I certainly was happy that i missed the 28 degree temperatures inside the office.. mwhaha! and yeah.. Chris asked me out on wednesday too, and stupidly i pretended I was ready. But i wasnt, and I want dave back soooo much. We had a talk last night and decided to try and fix things between us, and I hope that works out.. :)
Wow this is probably the most personal entry i've ever made :P Well its been an emotional couple of days. Oh and I think my tonsils are infected :P yayyy! *rolls eyes*  Anyways Linda is over now, I'm probly going to Doubles tonight with her (a crappy lil bar at the Niakwa hotel), because one of her friends from work is having his birthday there. but yeha... ttyl!
Sheesh guys confuse me..

Saturday, April 12h, 2003
Well the last week and a half have been an absolute BLAST. Last Friday I went shopping and bought my new $140 bikini (yikes, i know).. and spent a bunch more money on a backpack, hoodie, headphones, and 3 shirts. Then on Saturday I skipped work, and went to the DU frat party that night :D Which was completely awesome!! I was hammered, and spent the last half of the night lounging in the hottub in my bikini, with Linda, a bunch of hotties, and wearing a Sombraro(which i was told i looked REALLY cute in *blush*) .. So then Linda and i went back to Sean Clarks and crashed on his couches, and finally came back to my house on Sunday. Well I had called into work saturday and added myself a shift from 3-10 for sunday.. But i was WAY too hungover to go, so i told my dad i was goin to work, and went and hungout at Linda's house. We ate Mac n Cheese, and then I made plans with Dave :) He wanted us to meet up, go to a movie, hangout, stuff like that. So i agreed, and he picked me up from Linda's house. We went and saw Phonebooth, and had a great time hanging out and getting to know each other.. and by the end of the night, he asked me out!! Awww what a sweety.. So i waited awhile before saying yes, because I wasnt sure what to do, but eventually I gave in. After all that singleness I really was getting lonely, and Dave is such a great guy :D.. Well then Monday Dave came over before I worked and we hungout and then he drove me to work, Tuesday I had school and Dave and I went Bowling afterwards :), then Wednesday and Thursday I worked, and Last night I went and had dinner at his house, with him and his parents. They are such cool people, I love them so much!! His mom is soooo nice, and she even made me spaghetti :D!!! She welcomed me back, Dave and I had an amazing evening, and then he drove me home. Then today i got up at 8:15 (eek!), showered, and went to the mall for breakfast with my dad and linda and their friends, just like every Saturday morning. And I stopped by Liberty Taxes (I think thats the name) and made myself an appointment for Tuesday at 2pm, to go and do my income tax! Yay adulthood! :D Oh and then I went to work. Tomorrow is my day off, so i think I'm just gonna sit around, probly go jogging/walking for the first time all winter :) , clean my room, maybe rearrange my furniture, stuff like that.

Thursday, April 3rd, 2003
I got a 50 cent raise at work!!!!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :D I'm such a great interviewer i guess *blush*  Hooray for $8.75! Damn Shane is making $10.50 now :O bastard :P Well anyways...

Tuesday, Arpil 1st, 2003
I forgot that its April Fools Day :( otherwise i would have put koolaid powder in the shower head!! D'oh!
Well anyways.. today i might be going overto see my mom, then I have class at 6:15 (yay MSN! lol), and me and Ozan are supposed to be doing something after class, but i dunno.. i feel crappy today. Not bad, not good, just blah.
News on the boy front: Still staying single and not seeing anyone.. No sexual stuff for me AT ALL (including kissing) until im in an actual relationship.. and so far its quite annoying. I really wanna be kissed :( ... but gah! damn self improvements!
I'm really hungry, and I'm craving Kraft Dinner, so I'm gonna go see if we have any.. and Just a little shout out to Nathan, my Indiana hottie, Luv you sweety and dont worry, I'll teach you how to rollerblade.. lol :D
Well I'm out of here.. need food!
Btw Matthew, lookin good with the new look!
Later all <3

Tuesday, March 26th, 2003
My birthday was exactly 4 months ago!!
lol anyways.. umm i told Matthew not to bother coming.. just me changing my mind once again,,But i dont really feel like talking about it so what else is new... I'm finally getting over my cold, and I think I gave it to my asshole step brother, Mike! LOL mwhaha the best revenge! I went to class tonight, super boring, but i downloaded MSN onto my computer there, and spent the whole night on MSN talking :) Hehehe.. Sneaky Sneaky! I've basically been feeling like crap all day, but then Nathan cheered me up by being his sweet self :) Aww I wuv you Nathan! :P lol .. alright im a nerd.. Oh! and I met Jeff sunday night.. hung out at his house for awhile, his mom baked cookies! she's sooo sweet :) .. and his girlfriend.. is well.. 16. and we all know what THAT means .. (RUN).. lol anyways its 3 am, my back hurts, and im tired..
Hasta La Vista, Baby!

Whoa its been a long time!!
Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
I have a new email address! .. so feel free to reach me there if my hotmail account is full, or if you just feel like talkin :) Hmm so much has happened... Where to begin.. Well Linda and I both work at Ipsos Reid now.. it's almost been 2 weeks! I love my job there.. its super easy. And in the last few weeks my social life has just been booming! A couple Wednesday's ago I went with my friend Rob and his cousin Lyle, to the Henderson Draft House, where i won 3rd place in a wet tshirt contest! lol .. then on the friday after that I met Carter, and we went and hung out at Dirty Laundry, then Blue Agave, and then Lot 115, all very cool places!! And then Saturday we went to 2 house parties in one night.. and I got to meet a lot of new, and super cool people :)
Hmm then tuesday I met Justin, who is becoming a really great friend, and is such a cool guy.. and he invited me to the social that his fraternity Phi Delta Theta was having on friday at WiseGuys on Campus! It was so awesome and yes I have pics!! Go there and see me, Justin, and all his frat friends that I met :)
And then Saturday night after work I went to a wedding social for my step mom's, friends daughter.. We got there at 9, and it didnt get good until like 11, and then my parents made me leave with them at 12!!! that pissed me off SO much.. but i still enjoyed the time that i did spend there..
This is a busy week.. yesterday I worked 4-11pm, then tonight I had my first College class from 6:15 till 9:15, and tomorrow and thursday i work 4-11pm, then friday im going to get my tattoo! and Saturday i work 11-6, and then Justin and I are going up to one of his friends cabin in Gimli, where they're having a party! so woo hoo busy!
Just 2 weeks ago I had no life at all.. and look at me now!
Ooh and last but not least, the Matthew update.. Well he's not here yet, but weve set aside Monday as the day he'll finally be coming! So that will definitely be cool and I can't wait :)
Well this is a lot of typing ive done, which means a lot of reading.. sorry about that.. im ending it here.
Luv Shana

Friday, February 21st, 2003
So yeah Linda and I went job hunting today, and handed in resume's at 3 places.. one of them being Ipsos Reid, where we were both given an interview timeslot. Mine is on monday at 11:30 :) so yaaaay money! And ooh Matthew id hopefully coming SOON <3 I can't wait for that!!! And I'd just like to say thank you to all of my friends who have supported me and Matthew's relationship. I love you all :)

Tuesday, February 10th, 2003
The last few days have been real crappy for me. Paul and I broke up :( in hopes of creating a better friendship to fall back on. I went and got a depro shot (and my arm STILL hurts), and I've been crying on and off. Good news is that I had a girls night out yesterday with Linda C and Jackie (there's a pic of them with Matt in the Grad Pics section), and we shopped, went and saw How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, which is a GREAT movie!! :D then we stopped by the Limelight Lounge to visit Jackie's sister while she was working but it was totally bunk so we left and went to Club Regent!! OMG. I love that Casino soooooo much... I looks like Hawaii :D! and the walk through aquarium is absolutely wonderful. I lost 50 cents, made about $4 but played all my winnings, and talked to an animated skeleton named bones for 10 minutes, and an animated toucan named tookie for 45!! LOL. I had the most fun ever and I want to go back again and again!! Ooh and Matthew is coming up here in a week and a bit from Florida, and he says he is gonna treat me like a queen :) and I believe him. He is such a sweety omg :)  
I miss paul.. (obviously) but tonight I phoned him and we had a fun little chat (hopefully the start of a good friendship :)! ) Soo yeah.. I'm on cloud 9 :)

Thrusday, January 30th, ctnd.
OH one more thing b4 i forget.. If you havent seen my new hair cut yet, I took some pics with my webcam today, and posted them in the Webcam Pics! part of my site .. so check it out :)

Thursday, January 30th, 2002
Tuesday was a big day for me! Saw Paul (yum), went to the bank and cashed my check, went to the mall, and got my hair cut, highlighted, and layered. Cost me $96, but MAN was it worth it! The hairdresser was super cool, his name is Richard, and he kept calling me beautiful and gorgeous .. then he mentioned how he takes pics of each client that he does an excellent dye/styling job on, and posts the pictures on a hairstyling website that he runs.. So I let him take a few pics of my hair, and he said he would email them to me sometime soon.. AND he mentioned that since i was so "photogenic" he could get me in time with a profession photographer, for more hair pics.. Now wouldnt it be cool if this could lead to modelling? So anyways, that had me in bliss :)
THEN i went shopping, and met Dan Audette (one of my old highschool friends) at the mall, and we applied at different stores in the mall. After that it was still early, so we did a bit of shopping, and then went and saw the movie Two Weeks Notice. It was pretty good i guess.. not something i would recommend if you want lots of laughs.
Now for Wednesday (and i'll try and keep this short..) I went to Melisa's house and babysat Dynika and Rheyanne from 8 until 4:30 ... Rheyanne is only 1 and a half, so she's a total cutie, but Dynika, who's 5, is a nightmare.. lol
Well thats the excitement for my week so far! ttyl

Sunday, January 26th, 2003
Hey look at that! I've been 18 for 2 months! :) and Paul and i have been together for a month and 10 days :) .. hmm now lets see.. its been awhile, so i probly have lots to add.. Ahh yes lets start off with the fact that I lost my job at Galaxy! Friday night i told my manager Mel that i wanted to make monday my last shift, since Andre has been an ass (threatened to fire me), and I'm going to college soon.. she said ok, but seemed very disappointed and asked if i could still work the weekend since they will be very busy and need me. I said of course, and then yesterday, she phones me to tell me not to bother coming in at all this weekend, because she has filled my shifts! :/ That totally sucked. I mean I did love my job, I just needed to grow up and get a REAL job, not a 7 hour a week at a roller rink "job".
       But anyways, yes i'm going to College starting March 18th :) Taking a couple courses through Red River, so that i can become a Health Unit Clerk (or in other words a desk clerk at a hospital/doctors office) .. so I'm REALLY looking forward to that :D
   Hmm Paul and I are doing great :) He met Linda last week, but that was by complete accident.. lol so it was kinda awkward, and now my dad is dying to meet him... which he wont for awhile :P .. and hmm Wednesday I went to Pharoah's with Jeff, and that totally sucked.. and the "Show your Underwear" contest was rigged!!! :@
   What else.. oh yes! Michael (my ex that im sure you all have read about :P) decided to phone me and drop by about 2 weeks ago... and i thought "Wow! he has a gf, he knows i have a bf, and he finally wants to be friends.. good for him!" and then he was flirting, and I found out, much to my disliking, that HE was single, thought i was single, and only came over to try and get me back! x,x that pisses me off royally..
    Oh and one more thing... I think my next job will be waitressing/hostessing :) keep your fingers crossed for me!
So I guess thats about all I have to update... :\ umm yeah... ttys!

Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
Wow a new year and its been a LONG time since ive added anything to this.. i hope you guys havent completely given up on me! My computer has been down since.. well i guess since december 11th when i last updated. It's a major pain in the @$$! always freezing and what not. Anyways, Christmas time is done, New Years has passed, and life is good. :) Paul and I have officially been dating since the 16th, and he has just brightened up my life completely <3  Hmm what else has been happening.. I work tonight, and since its january, im only going to be working fridays and saturdays mostly for the rest of the month.. so im thinking about getting another job. hopefully one just as easy :P (No, i Won't work at KFC :P sorry!) I miss all my MSN friends so much, all i seem to be able to do these days is email, so im going to try and send everyone an email within the next week so we can keep in touch. I'm going to go get ready for work now since my bus comes in 20 minutes. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around :) Love ya'll

Wednesday, December 11th, 2002
Holy its been awhile.. i need to update, wouldnt you say? Well, im not so mad anymore about the birthday thing.. sorry for the rant.. :/ Time has passed and all is well :) I'm extremely happy with my life now.. thanks to one special sweetheart named Paul (love you hottie!) and.. I thought I was gonna get fired from Galaxy, as I'm sure you all know why, and now, thanks to my great concession skills, im not gonna get fired after all ;) yay!!
Umm.. i work tomorrow i think, my calendar says 1-4:15, which makes no total sense at all, so im gonna show up there at 12:30 i guess... and yeah.. sorry to anyone that i disappointed by becoming happy, and I hope that i dont lose any of you as friends.
Love you all,
Shana :)

Wednesday, November 27th, 2002
Do you consider yourself to be my friend? KISS MY ASS.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let me just add that I am extremely disappointed in all but 3 people. These being Linda Schmidt, Paul, and my brother Sean. They are awesome friends and I'm proud to have them in my life. Everyone else can fucking rot in hell as far as i'm concerned. Unless of course you are one of my friends that doesnt live in winnipeg, giving you a valid excuse for missing my bday :) then i love you tons still :) lol...
True Friends do not miss an 18th birthday celebration
True Friends do not make excuses..
If this is confusing anyone, let me tell you all a little something that may help you understand... I invited around 27 people to come to Buffalo Bills last night to celebrate my 18th birthday with me. Guess how many showed up.. 3. Hell my brother and Andrew showed up, and they werent even invited! that makes it a grand total of 24 fucking morons that i THOUGHT were my friends, and decided to be no shows and liars. Thanks a lot. Ooh and have i gotten any apologies?  3. From Laura Millar and Scott, who I didnt even expect to come, and Matt Hildebrand was nice enough to phone and apologize :) They all had damn good reasons not to come too. Shows how mature the rest of you are.

Saturday, November 23rd, 2002
I'm just gonna fill you guys in on whats going on point blank. Lets make this nice and quick... I'm sick, seemingly getting worse but it better be gone by tuesday, Matthew still isnt out of the hospital but is planning to be out on monday, catching the next plane here so he doesnt miss my bday, Darren and I called it quits yesterday, planning on still being friends :), and.. I work tonight. woo fricken hoo. Oh and I'm trying to get a VIP list for 30 set up, if only the friggen manager at Buffalo Bills would call Linda back. grr. so yeah ttyl

Sunday, November 10th, 2002
Holy shit does this need updating or what!? Okay so last i left off, I was going shopping with my man, and matthew was coming... hmm an update to that would be that i didnt get to go shopping with my man, and instead went with my new friend Ozan :) He is a super cool guy and get this.. we are both sarcastic as hell :D its great! lol.. ohh and Matthew isnt here quite yet :( He's been stuck in the hospital for the past week, unable to leave or his insurance wouldnt pay up.. and his bill is around $750,000! damn United States and their damn bad healthcare.. grrr.. so anyways he's coming here eventually i hope lol.. We have a new dress code at work.. black pants :P and i think soon they are gonna make us wear golf shirts that say Galaxy on them or something gay like that.. ahh.. speaking of gay, lol i say Mathew Schwagger at Polo on thursday when i went shopping with Darren for some new black pants :P yay Mathew!! heh I invited him to my bday celebration, now i just gotta find a way to explain to him where transcona is :P lol... and speaking of transcona, my bday will officially be celebrated now on the following date:
Tuesday, November 26th at Buffalo Bills on Regent Ave. West.
You all are invited to come :) Hope to see you there! I'm gonna get plastered lol. That shall be a sight to see!

Saturday, November 2nd, 2002
Alright i officially have no idea where to spend my birthday. I said the Safari Club right? well now ive been told NOT to go to the Safari Club on a tuesday because it will suck, and that I should go to Buffalo Bills instead. HELP is all i can say right now :(
On a lighter note, I prayed that last night at work would be completely slack, and it was :D tonight i work again, and tomorrow im going shopping with my man :)... Ooh i got paid last night! $85.95.... kind of a downer from my usual $500 checks from walmart.. but im not in it for the money, remember? :P Anyways yay!! sunday monday.. tuesday.. wednesday... 3 days left until Matthew comes!! :D sweeeeet. anyways im gonna go shower... im in a wonderful mood :D

Saturday, October 26th, 2002
1 month till my bday!! :D And I think I'm gonna finalize my decision by saying that im inviting everyone of my friends that is 18 and over to come and party at the Safari Club on Tuesday November 26th :) It'll be a blast im sure :D okay enough... i never got that hug from trent, but thats okay.. and i worked today from 9:30 until 12, then i was supposed to have plans but they were cancelled, then i got a call out of the blue from Michael which was nice, and.... thats it for my day. I got out of having to go to church tomorrow morning, so yay i get to sleep in on my day off! :D then monday i have a busy day... goin to chill at Chris's house, then gotta work from 5:30 till 9pm, then at 9:30 i have a job interview at IGA for part time cashier :D woo hoo.. money money money!! MONEY! :) heh god im a dolt.. lol anyways, My boss Andre just loves me to pieces, and yay i havent had to work box office again!! :D ooh ooh November 3rd is rapidly approaching :D Matthew is coming to visit for a whole week and im stoked!! (<~~ stolen from benjamin.. hope ya dont mind ^.^) and what else what else...nothin much i guess.. i'll keep ya'll posted! later

Thursday, October 24th, 2002
alright i have lots to say, but where should i start... Bringing Kendra to Galaxy was a good idea :) She had tons of fun, and I got my old job back. My dad hates it and has been bitching for me to "get a real job" since i only get 3 shifts a week, but im not doing it for the money! I love my job.. so yeah.. Linda came to the family reunion thing and we had fun :) God Kenny is fucking gorgeous.. 3rd cousins wouldnt make it incest would it? :p i hope not! and mmm you should hear him alive he's good! what else.. Mel trained me in Box Office on Monday.. and it was way too stressful >.< Backtracking a day, Sunday night i was trying to plan a house party since my mom and Barrie were going out to the lake. But i couldnt get enough ppl to come :( and i couldnt find anyone with a car that could buy the alcohol for me, and get it to my moms... so i cancelled the party, and me and Darren went and saw The Transporter. A really kick-ass action movie :) kinda like James Bond meets Jackie Chan -ish :D and hmm what else is new..1 month and 2 days until my birthday!!! :D yaaaaay!!!! ooh and last night i went to Scott's and we watched The Others. I had already seen the first half, but i was dying to see the rest, so we rented it. It was actually not bad. kinda Sixth Sense-ish. and tonight im hopefully gonna hang out with Trent for a bit so i can get my hug :) I work tomorrow night from 6:45 till 1 am.. and i think on saturday too.. from 9:15am to 12.. soo yeah. Despite how it sounds, I need a life! :P Congrats Cara on getting hired at WalMart, and earning 20 cents an hour more than what Pat earsn!! :D ha.. I'm out.

Thursday, October 17th, 2002
Okay so whats been going on with me..  lets recap shall we? :p tuesday, went to WPC and got my yearbook, and on the way home got totally snubbed by Jon and Curtis on the bus.. Jon you fucking retard. lol Wednesday i met Linda at Portage Place at 4:...20 :p and we went shopping, ate dinner at A &W, and then to our surprise, saw Jon and Curtis getting onto a bus. So i yelled "JERK", Jon waved (like the dumbass he is) and then we went down to catch our bus. We went and visited Micheline and Daniel, the kids Linda used to babysit for, and then we went and saw the movie Tuck Everlasting. really great movie, really stupid ending. but yes... today i.. did nothing. LOL big surprise eh? :D tomorrow.. ooh friday! I'm maybe getting a call from Corey who is down in LA right now, and he's gonna let me talk to Joshua Jackson or James Vanderbeek on the phone!! ahh stars *** :) so hopefully i dont miss that call, cuz tomorrow night im taking my cousin Kendra to Galaxy with me :) Her mom wont let her stay until 12am, even though she IS 14, but thats okay cuz im sure she will have fun :) then tomorrow night, Linda will come back to my moms and sleep over, and then on saturday she will come with me to my great aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary/family reunion party :D fun fun... mm hmm
Anyways ooh! Tonight Corey phoned me!! that was wicked cool :) Shocked the hell out of me, even though i told him to call. heh. and i got to talk to Trent on msn... :D we had a good long chat, and man.. i just luv him so much :) co<imamushball<ugh .. ah sorry bout that.. i think im coming down with a cold ;) heh .. anyways yeah this is getting pretty long.. ttyl and thanks for lookin at my site guys :)

Monday, October 14th, 2002
Thanksgiving is almost at an end, and man the past 3 days were yummy :) Now i only have to wait 2 more weeks or so until Matthew comes up from Florida and visits me :D Most of you are probly like "wtf? who's matthew?" well he's one of my best friends in the world :) and he's coming up here to visit for a week! Eeeeh i can't wait :D It's gonna be so awesome. And i hope Buckaroo's phones me back.. i need a job :( and im thinking about buying a cell phone. AND Darren i miss ya babe... xoxo

Saturday, October 12th, 2002
Yesterday was the coolest day ever. :) I got a phone call yesterday from a friend of mine that lives in Alberta, saying that she was in Winnipeg on vacation and wanted me to come out for coffee with her to catch up. So we did that it was wicked, and I got home just in time to hear that my step mom was going out for the evening, and my dad had no plans. so i invited him to come to Galaxy with me :) He agreed to come and go rollerskating, and he even invited my friend Brenda from Alberta to come with us :D. Now i should probly prep you on -how- she is my friend. Brenda is 43, and her and her twin brother Brian (my dads best friend) used to all hang out together in highschool. Brenda and my dad were even highschool sweethearts :). But Brenda moved off to Alberta and got married, my dad met my mom, and  that was it for 20 years. So 3 years ago (summer of 99) my dad and I took a road trip out to see her. We stayed at her cabin, which was just a short drive from Edmonton, and spent a few days at the West Edmonton Mall. So it was an absolutely fantastic summer, one I will never forget, and I hadnt seen her since then. So you can imagine my surprise when she called me up. Anyways so we brought her rollerskating with us. Watching them try to rollerskate was the funniest thing ever. lol. But they had a great time chating and what not, and to my surprise, I found all the friends that I havent seen for months and forgot about. Here i was, feeling down because I havent seen practically any of my friends in about 4 months, and I really wasnt sure if i had any left. I was originally planning to go to Galaxy, not even sure if there would be anyone i knew there. But when i walked in that building and had 10 good buddies come hug me, I felt SO good :) shamefully, i had forgotten about them all completely when i was thinking who my friends were. But bruce, brad, sean, matt, sam, tauja, jaime, curtis, rob, and jeff all know how to really make a girl feel welcome :)  Ahhh i just loved it!!! I cant wait to go back next friday and surprise them all since I told them i wouldnt be going again for awhile *snicker*. Mwhaha. Ahhh Galaxy.. so many memories. I luv you guys :)

Tuesday, October 8th, 2002
Woo hoo!!!!! Cara and I went to the Legislative Building tonight to see the queen :D when we got there we got our spot along some ropes (in front of the hot OBO security guards ;) and waited, while listening to the free concert that was going on. Then the fireworks started, which were absolutely wicked cool. I've never liked fireworks a day in my life, except the ones that Dale showed me from Canada Day in Vancouver. but these ones i love. we were right under them, so they were kinda really loud, but still gorgeous :D And we saw the queen!! we think. lol there were like 20 people walking up the steps at once, so it was kinda hard to see her, but it was either the lady in blue, or the lady in green. both were moving kinda slow, so who knows.. but whichever one she was, we saw her!!! :D lol then we stood around as the crowd made its way down broadway.... and soon walked to SubWay to eat. then we hung out there and her dad picked us up and drove me home. woooo what an awesome night :D even if we didnt see the queen, hanging out with cara, was the best!! She gave me some pics from 2 summers ago when we went to the Tragically Hip's concert at the Forks, and i think i will post them on my site. i hate them though, but you will see. i was so chubby and ugh.. you may not recognize me :p but good luck!! anyways im fucken tired. lol goodnight!!

Monday, October 7th, 2002
Ohhhh man :) i cant say enough about last night! :) The dinner was fun, the movie was excellent (The Red Dragon) (prequel to Silence of the Lambs) and all the stuff in between and after was absolutely great :) Darren you are awesome and i luv you so much :) Soooo god damn smart, and i am so proud of you :) I read over your agenda for tuesday and wednesday, and it sounds sweet :) i hope you have fun, and i hope to see you sometime soon :) you are tha best!

Sunday, October 6th, 2002
hmm okay so I still have to go to walmart and drop off my knife, name badge, discount card, etc. but i'll get around to it one of these days im sure :p Man.. i feel really bummed out right now. maybe its because in the past week, or not even past week. in the last 3 days i have made and lost 2 friends :( both because I said something that 1 second later i wished i hadnt. i really gotta learn to think before i speak sometimes :/ but anyways...Darren and I are going out for dinner and a movie tonight, and maybe some shopping too :) all my treat. I picked up an application after breakfast today (i went with my dad and linda and friends for breakfast at Bellamy's restaurant on Dakota, 9 of us total). I will drop off the application either later today when i go out, or tomorrow. yay full time at Buckaroo's!!! LMSAO   <--- thats Laughing My Sexy Ass Off, if any of you are wondering :) umm so what else.... i wanna hang out with my friends :( where are all you guys? call me up! 1 and a half months and i can finally join you guys at the bar. :D .. Thanksgiving is coming up, and im gonna treat my family to a meal out.. rather than having my grandma cook she's tired and has arthitis and stuff, so its just not nice to expect her to cook again even if it is tradition. so im taking my fortune and treating them to a nice meal :) Hehe (and NO im not doing this so that i get anything spectacular for my bday ;) lol ) ... anyways im bored so im gonna go to my room and listen to music.. and maybe write or sketch. ttyl guys!!

Sunday, September 29th, 2002
No one reminded me that yesterday was Melanie Spencers birthday!! i guess i should have remembered. but i didnt realize it until last night at work that the date was actually the 28th. i wish i would have known that earlier so i could have phoned her. hell its been what like 4-5 years since ive talked to her... and if any of you are wondering, she was my neighbour when i lived in my old house. We were best friends since.. well as far as I can remember. Then i moved to windsor park and we lost touch :( but anyways.. gone to see a couple of movies now. K19: the widowmaker, Swimfan, and Four Feathers. K19 and swimfan were OK but man... Four Feathers, to me, is absolutely fantastic. Its so empowering. As soon as i see it come out on video i am SO buying it. Heath Ledger did an Oscar worthy performance! and he's so damn gorgeous. lol umm what else should i add in here. I'm quitting WalMart soon. Handing in my 2 week notice to Jan on November 1st. I just cant take it anymore. all i get is complainst from her, and she pulled me into her office thursday night for the 1st of 3 warnings. the 3rd one being getting fired... so after i broke down in her office and almost punched a wall on my way back to work, I've decided that enough is enough. Plus all the sexual harrassment is a bit too much to handle >.< Always guys looking at me, checking me out, saying "Shana you look good today" with a wink, and "hey cutie" is really REALLY bad. especially on a daily basis. bah. but enough pity. im really tired (it being 2:30pm right now and i havent slept since i woke up at 5pm yesterday) so yes... NEED SLEEP. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Monday, September 23rd, 2002
Today started off great :) woke up, taked to Darren, then went out and ran some errands with him, went to the mall that Barrie used to work in (i forget the name... the one on McPhillips. not Garden City) and went to the movie theatre there and saw K19: the Widowmaker :) it was really good. i always wanted to have a boyfriend that i could go to movies with and cuddle. ;) Anyways then we drove around, and ended up in Lockport, where we had supper at the Sonia's place... a burger/french fries/all the grease you can handle place :) and that was wicked.. and mmm yummy. then after that we drove around, stopped and made out :D and then drove back into the city, all the while having a long talk. Well mostly he talked. i listened. which i love doing :) and he drove me home. So my day was great, and as fun as ever :) Then i walked inside my house to have everything do a 180 on me, with my dad bitching/yelling at me about my mom. She's gone completely insane now i think. :/ but i just feel so sorry for mike and linda :( they really didnt need to hear my dad and i pointlessly yelling at each other.but thats all over now, everything is good between my dad and i, and tomorrow i am going to phone my mother and bitch her out. that shall be fun :p riiiight. and so i just finally talked to darren on msn, so im feeling a lot better. I still think Darren is wonderful, incase anyone was wondering :) a total sweety and i feel privileged to know him :) But.. im going to cuddle up on my couch now and think about stuff... so i will check back in here within the next couple days and update again. See ya, wouldnt wanna be ya! lol jk take it easy.

Monday, September 23rd, 2002
Its 2:40 am and im still awake because i just got home from my date with Darren a little while ago and I know he's gonna be reading this, so I'm gonna try and mush it up as much as possible. mwhahah. As of tonight, I am dating the sweetest, smartest, hottest guy! He lives in WhyteRidge and is a pilot :) and.. gee i dunno what to say! im just ecstatic :)We met up, watched SwimFan (which we were 20 minutes late for, totally my fault of course :p) and it was OK. kinda.. well kinda predictable. I think i saw the exact same concept used somewhere else. like on Are You Afraid of the Dark or something. But since thats a kids show, there was probly a lot less ANYWAYS, I really really really! like Darren :) and i hope that this lasts a very long time. We have so much in common, and he's just absolutely fab :) But im gonna go now and do some email stuff. so I'll talk to you all later! :) God i love FTJ. <3

Wednesday, September 18th, 2002
I love getting good advice :D my friend Michelle at work has now convinced me to go into nursing again :D hah! mainly becuz wehn i said to her "yeah but i cant just go in it for the money can i??" expecting a "you're right. you should love the career" but instead i got a "of course you can!!! thats what its about now, money. you have to do it for the money." LOL that made me day :) so yeah im gonna phone the Faculty of Nursing, find out some stuff (like how long the waiting list is) and im gonna apply for either Next Semester at the U of M, or next year. i dont have to reapply if i want courses next semester tho, which is good. yay!!! hah. i feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me, now that ive decided what im actually gonna do. And no more changing my mind! not about school anyways ;) heh. but ummm yes. Go me!

Monday, September 16th, 2002
What a busy weekend! met up with Neil the U of M today :) we hung out there for a couple hours.. heh and it was so much fun :D i dont wanna say anything to be mushy, but...he's a sweety and he's hot. lol. ummm I dunno today was a great day! :D except my dad has been using the computer all night, and this is my only chance to be on it before i go to bed :( im real tired. 13 more minutes until he gets on it again! booo urns. Anyways Neil if you're reading this, thanks for the great day :) i love the campus! lol its so gorgeous, especially in the shade ;) ... ttyl :)

Sunday continued...
Okay ive updated my site again, and i just want to point out that you should all click on the words Check THIS Out on the front page of my site. In that link is my 2nd page to my site. including my poetry, those wonderful virtual dolls of my friends, and some newly added lyrics. I'm not really sure if anyone has even clicked that link yet, but you all should :) It's good stuff!

Sunday, September 15th, 2002
In an attempt to confuse you all, and even after yesterday's long post, i have decided to stick it out with chris :). the whole msn thing is probably all in my head, and im stupid to let go of someone that sweet, just because he talks to girls. And here's something i figured out while at work. I CANNOT believe that i was stupid enough to let Michael guilt trip me into feeling bad about the guys ive been with. I was with them when i was SINGLE.  For the last week i have felt absolutely awful with myself, and for no reason at all. He's the one that has been cheating on his fucking girlfriend. like for fuck sakes already. Cheating is the lowest of the low to me. i despise it. So any respect I had for him, is now way way down... I just cant believe how guilty i felt, and im ending it as of now. No more guilt for being with other guys, no more tears, and i am as of now, tearing myself away from any romantic feelings i may have towards him. Its funny how being rejected makes you open your eyes and see things for what they are. And my eyes are WIDE open. anyways, thats it for now i guess. lol look at the contrast between posts in two days. My mind is a busy busy place. I of course still want to be friends, but.. thats as far as that goes. I care for him, of course i care for him.but this is where i draw the line. I'm out.

CAUTION: the following entry was made for the reading of one person, and one person only. and he knows who he is, so all you other guys can just.. go check out my profile! mwhaha...
Saturday, September 14th, 2002
Last night was the absolute greatest night out that i have had in a long time. It has really got me thinking about what the hell im doing. All night at work, all i thought about was Michael, Michael, do i wanna be with chris or not, and Michael. And here's what it all boils down to. Want i want in my life right now is a boyfriend. a REAL boyfriend. one that i can see once week, maybe more, maybe less depending on our schedules, someone who respects me, loves me, and knows me inside and out. Calling me is a big bonus, and so is dropping by unexpectedly :) I gotta have a man with a car, a job, and a direction in life. and i must be able to trust him completely. Which i think is my big problem with Chris. See he has this msn list full of girls, and well... frankly i dont trust that too much. I have an msn list full of guys, and i know how i am with them, and i would hate it if he was talking to other chicks the way he talks to me. make sense? i had the same problem with trent. no trust = no shana. I luv them both dearly, absolutely great guys, but not for me. And I want a serious, committed boyfriend. one that i can take to work christmas parties, and bring home for a family dinner. And finally, i want to be able to answer the question "hey shana, got a boyfriend?" im sick of having to say "no" and "im not sure". that sounds freakin awful. And Michael, I love you with all of my heart. Always have, and always will. I think you know that, but i just wanted to say it again. Last night almost made me cry. I dont think ive ever felt so special, so put on a pedestal in my whole life. and i thank you for that :). I guess what i need right now is a decision. And i always hate it when people give me an ultimatim, but here it goes. I really do think you are the guy that fits into all of the qualities above. and so i think im trying to say, that either a) stick it out with Amanda and I will stick it out with chris, or b) we can both get rid of them and be together. To me, this whole choice thing sounds awful. but i really dont know what else to do. and im really hoping that you make the choice that i want you to :p not to put pressure on you or anything. lol. anyways im starting to ramble, and im gonna go get some sleep since i just got home from work. Call me or write me to let me know whats happening? okay im out. love ya.

Sunday, September 8th, 2002
okay WTF. lol i hate tripod!!! i just spent 20 minutes writing this long post about how great im feeling today, lol and it doesnt even add it to my site! geez um crow. okay lets start over. :p it rained this morning, and im hoping it will clear up :) then i can hang out with chris!!! he's a basketball player too, and we all know how much i love my basketball :D and if you dont, well now you know! lol. umm yeah anyone hear that wicked thunder this morning around.. 5:30ish?? it shook the walls of WalMart, and so we were all hoping that  the walls would come down so that we could leave. :) but./.. in hindsight, i guess if they did come down, we'd be so maybe its a good thing they didnt, huh? :p well here i am sitting on msn with no one talking to me :p and listening to music. "West Siiiiiiide!" yes. im listening to West Side Connection :D (thats rap btw, lol) so sue me! heh im in a great mood :D i just wish the sun would come out. ANYWAYS, back to my rap. see ya laterz!!!

Friday, September 6th, 2002
The moron outside is revving his car engine AGAIN today. which is what woke me up at 11 this morning. fricken bastard. someone should put a bullet in his windsheild. mwhaha. ANYWAYS, this isnt what i wanted to talk about, lol. I'm down to 150 lbs now!! and as i discovered tonight while doing laundry, even my spandex shorts are baggy on me now. lol. im not saying this is a good thing. this is a bad thing. i keep on losing weight! i started a year ago (last june) when i went on a health kick, and now its out of control. usually when i weigh myself right after getting out of the shower, i weigh less than i do dry with all my clothes on. but yesterday i weighed myself dry and it was exactly 150. i almost screamed. but anyways, lol yay yay yay im skinny! :p umm and i get to see Chris on sunday :D its supposed to rain.. but i dont care about getting a little soaked. he's great (and im still wearing the necklace he gave me.. and im not planning on taking it off :p). anyways im cramped up, and bleeding >.< so i guess i should buy some stuff after work. blah i know you are just wanting to yell TMI!!. heh. 9:17. i should go shower. ttyl!
P.S. check out the My PhotoAlbum to see some pics of Chris :)

Thursday sidenote:
my heart hurts.

Thursday, September 5th, 2002
Bought new boots :D bought new jeans. boots are Genuine Italian Leather. pointed toes, stiletto heels. just thinking about them makes me wanna drool! lol god they are cute. and i looked damn hot today! But yeah. shopped, came home from work, talked to Chris on msn. Chris is a guy i met on (one of the many winnipeggers). and so i met him today since he skipped class :p he's 18, 6'6, and really nice :) heh. But yeah i took a nice long HOUR AND A HALF bus ride to his house :p had to walk all the way down freakin mcphillips in my boots which killed me, and then we sat and watched Days :D even tho he hates it :p but i know he doesnt! heh otherwise he wouldnt have kept switching back! but yeah. Michael and I had a long talk tonight. i wont go into details but lets just say.. tears were shed on my part, many in fact (what else is new, right? shaddup! :p)... and i think we're better off this way. "this way" being not talking :( woo hoo fun... umm so yeah. saw curtis on the bus on the way home from Chris' house. got filled in on lots of Galaxy gossip >:) . DID YOU KNOW.. ahh heh nm :p but yeah. gotta work tomorrow night. but only 2 more nights before my 2 days off :D hooray! Wal-Mart sucks. but they're looking for overnight people!! lol so come apply!! :P
ANYWAYS.. i should be sleeping, but im not tired (its 12:43 am friday morning).. and i cant believe no one has gotten up to say "go to bed shana!!" yet. heh cuz they can hear my typing... :) SUCKERS! lol. but anywho... later

Wednesday, September 4th, 2002
my apologies for yesterday's post. but man that felt good. anyways, work last night was great :D this week of work has been awesome come to think of it. every night since my evaluation has just gotten better and better. I'm in a much better mood now, (if you cant tell :D) mostly cuz i went shopping after work!! lol and spent $60 on myself :D mwhahaha. Bought a bra, thong, calendar whiteboard, and the latest issue of Cosmo :D i know "THE #1 THING HE CRAVES DURING SEX: A move so hot it's guaranteed make him sing O-Canada"!! oh wait.. i know that move already :p hell i must have co-written this book in a past life. lol i will just leave you with something from one of the articles titled "15 Places to have "Fast Love"".
1) bar bathroom
2) pool table
3) baseball dugout
4) beanbag chair
5) kitchen counter
6) big exercise ball
7) stairs
8) kiddie pool
9) laundry room
10) your office
11) coat closet
12) car
13) photo booth
14) the shower
and last but CERTAINLY not least:
15) at the front door.
(i wish to try each one of these out. who knows how far down the road it will be seeing as how im single, but still. i will make the effort)

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2002
Alright, once again i have changed my mind. i DO want a boyfriend, and im sick of not having one. im also sick of crying, getting yelled at by someone (he will remain nameless) for the decisions that i am making. YES im thinking about going to Red River. YES im getting shit on at work in more way than one, and YES i need someone to talk about it with. and NO i dont want my licence right now. I will get it when i turn 18. then atleast i can use it as ID. and i dont want to drive a car, i want to drive a motorcycle like this. so there. im done this rant. im mostly pissed off becuz this is my 1 day weekend, and when i tried to make plans for last  night, they didnt work out. surprise surprise.

Sunday, August 25th, 2002
this has been a bad weekend :( well, saturday at 2pm i went with dad and linda to the Legaslative grounds for Stacey's wedding pics... god she was so beautiful. such a gorgeous couple, her and steve. aww! then at 4:30 was the wedding at BreezyBend Golf & Country Club. waaay out on Roblin Boulevard. anyways that was beautiful. a nice outside wedding right on the edge of the golf course. The reception afterwards was awesome, with the Best Man Dale, giving the funniest speech i ever heard. what a guy. And if that didnt make me cry, Stacey and Steve's speeches did it. I luv them both! well i went there with no date, much to my misery as i found out, since everyone there had a date with them (except for Dale, mike and mike.. but they are too old :p) and so i ended up dancing most of the time to slwo songs with Trent. god i love you trent!!! what a sweetheart. Trent is Linda's 3 year old nephew from California. The cutest little guy in the whole U S of A i bet... and he just loved me to pieces. he came up to me during dinner and said "I wanna dance with you" and im like "awww! okay!" heh. and so we danced. a lot.  Finally we came home at 1 am this morning, to a message on our answering machine from my mom. it went like this "hello this is Diana Robbins. I'm calling for Shana. Please call me hun. One of Barrie's family members has died." Barrie, being my moms boyfriend of 4 years. So i phoned her back. no one answered as i later found out, was becuz they were in bed. This morning i awoke to the phone ringing. it was my mom. ohh man here come the tears.... gimme a sec. Okay. im alright. It was Barrie's brother Brian that passed away.. friday night/saturday morning. Supposedly it was a heart attack, with internal bleeding of some sort, but we dont know for sure yet. god he was only in his 40's. We will find out what the autopsy reveals soon... god i feel so bad for Kyle, his 16 year old son. ... anyways.. im done now. im hungry.. ttyl
*RIP Brian Kjernisted*

Friday, August 23rd, 2002
Okay so here's the scoop. i hope you guys could all find the place okay since i had to change the address a bit. hopefully it will only be temporary until i get the html working again for .com/. Its raining here right now. i woke up 20 minutes ago to heavy rain/hail, and now it seems to have died down. and, its Barrie's 50th birthday today, so i think my mom wanted everyone to come over to her house. And i was planning on it, but now... well this weather just plain sucks! I dont wanna go out in it! Okay. for anyone that likes me right now (not to sound conceited, im just frustrated) i DO NOT want or have time, for a boyfriend. This goes for you Josh. and Landon. And i guess anyone else that has a secret crush on me too :p I saw michael yesterday :D for a quicki.... umm i mean.. a brief visit ;) hehehe ... but yes. went shopping this morning after work, bought some stuff like.. ohh crest Whitestrips.. and stuff.  Did i already say that Austin Powers 3 is terrible? ohhh yeah i guess i did. My buddy Ben from Toronto is a so totally sexy :) and YES ben, i mean that :) Hopefully i can visit him sometime soon on my next visit to the T. O. (spell it out :p Tee dot Oh dot. :D) Oh and im now thinking about going to Red River College instead, and taking an X-ray nurse course.. or X-ray physician.. or whatever the hell its called :p does anyone know the web address for their site? if you do, please email me it, with "RRCC" in the subject line. :) thanks.

Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
okay so here i am, just got home from work an hour ago, and i think im gonna go to bed. but here's what ive been doing these past few days. #1 went to see Signs with landon. VERY good. majorly an awesome movie and every one of you should see it! #2 went on a blind date with a guy named josh. ummm that went well. we went to branigans for supper, then saw austin powers 3. which totally sucks. only a few major laugh out loud parts, and.. other than farting jokes, and stupid NOT funny other stuff, the movie had no storyline. good thing i didnt pay to see it ;) heh. Oh and what else. i have an account at so feel free to go on there and see my profile, and even rate me if you wish :) my username is shanabing02 . ummm i meet SO many guys on there. its the #1 place to be i guess for meeting guys. ive met 3 guys from close by. 2 from winnipeg, and one from regina, who wants to come to winnipeg to visit... and i met this SUPER hot guy named Sasha from montreal. omg girls you wont believe your eyes..... :D anyways im majorly tired, im gonna go to my grandma's today and pick up my check from all the money in my trust fund (almost $3000) and.. yes. im thinking about stopping by safeways and doing some shopping. oh yeah and i want to make a hair appointment to get my hair layered, and.. Stacey's wedding is on Saturday and michael said he would come with me. but that was 3 weeks ago and i cant get ahold of him! so maybe i will phone him today. okay.. im going now. see ya'll later

Monday, August 19th, 2002
okay so technically its tuesday morning, but whatever. Ive added more Funny Pics, and I have lots more on the way. :D im just REALLY tired right now, can barely keep my eyes open. oh and btw, i saw the new movie Signs tonight, and it is Amazingly good. Scary, funny, its got it all. Anyone that said it sucks is a friggin LIAR. you have to see it, ya hear me? alright go see it now. im gonna go see it again soon.  GO SEE SIGNS! You won't be disappointed. :D alright i will post again tomorrow, or, today i guess, when i wake up and am less tired. talk to you then!

Friday, August 16th, 2002
I got paid today :D amazing that just yesterday i had only $20 in my account, and now i have $400 :D heh i wanna go shopping!! anyone wanna come? >:) umm oh yeah i have decided that right now just isnt the right time for me to go to University. I told everyone that i wanted to go into nursing, and so they all thought that i meant that i wanted to be a nurse. But i dont. i just want the $$, and so with a new revelation brought on by the stress of trying to register for classes, i have come to the conclusion that im not sure what career i want to pursue, and so im taking a year off. Hell how am i supposed to get used to all these changes? i may be a goddess, but im no SuperWoman :) School ended, Claire left, Graduation came and went, started my first job, ended it, and started another, and THEN i have to deal with university? nope.. i just cant handle that much shit right now. so im going to relax, work, save up all the money i can, and try and figure out what it is that i truly want to spend my life doing. After dealing with Asshole Jon this past week, i have decided that I really dont have time for a boyfriend right now. I want one, but i also want sleep :p oh! how can i choose!!! :p sleep it is :D.. boy that was a hard decision. lol. And now for the michael update: I havent seen him in a month and a half, i havent talked to him in over 2 weeks, and... guess what! im going to get my beginners one of these days. i just need a study partner ... anyone thats willing to help, it would be greatly appreciated. And, well i guess that enough babbling on my part, for now anyways :p OH AND ONE MORE THING... i added a new page to my site, its off the link Check THIS out on the main page. So be sure to check it out! :D ttyl

Blue 22!!! Blue 22!!! Hut!

Saturday, August 10th, 2002
hmm not really much else to add.... its 8:30 am, just got home from work at 8, and.... well i want to bring Michael out to the lake for Sunday Monday tuesday, or any of those divided... my dad and linda are going to Falcon Lake for the week, and my mom and Barrie are going to Bird Lake for a week... and since i have sunday/monday off, i want to go out!! but not alone... but anyways yes.. i just found out that i get paid from Wal-Mart every 2 weeks, not every week, so i guess that explains why my bank account didnt have $100 extra bucks in it yesterday >.< and yes.. working in HBA every night like i do, (thats that Health and Beauty section in Walmart), has shown me lots of cool stuff i want/need to buy.... like hair dye, and stuff...anyways  I WANT A BOYFRIEND. and i need to get laid :p but the first one is much more important :) and.. hmmm i'm skinny!!!! :D i never really noticed it until recently :D and man am i happy... heh.. so yeah... word of the day is ".... ahh shit i forget!! damn! i had this cool word at work that i kept saying, and now i forget it!! ahhhhh.... i wanna go to Toronto... and see Matt. and what else... oh yeah! how could i forget... I tried to register for my classes at the U of M, and it wouldnt let me register for ANY of them! out of like 15!!!! bah i dont know what to do anymore... my life doesnt suck, but it sure is complicated >.<  Have a good one! :) *smirks*


Tuesday, who knows what the date is.., 2002
>caution, some adult language<
Man... working midnights has got my sleep patterns all fucked up. i have every sunday night and monday night off, but due to my new routine of midnights, i can no longer fall asleep until around 8 am. It's soooo shitty. god dammit. anyways, i just heard my dad pull up. I guess that means Linda's home from L.A, where she went last week to go to her niece's wedding. Oh and i updated the Funny Pics section, so check that out :D and soon, im thinking about putting up a page for my poetry. I'm not exactly any famous (or ever gonna be famous) writer, but... I'm proud of my stuff. so yeah... my damn libido is workin overtime, and i need some action :p fricken men. cant live with em, and.... so anyways i gotta work in an hour, so im gonna go make my lunch :p ttyl! (hehe)

Thursday, August 1st, 2002
I got hired at Wal-Mart!!!!!!! :D woo hoo.... $7.90 an hour, guaranteed atleast 28 hours a week, (altho right now i'll be getting 37 hours a week), 11pm till 7:30am :D awesome awesome... that makes almost $300 a week... compared to Galaxy which, if i worked a full shift, would only make me $27 a week. Woo Hoo!! and I know exactly what im gonna do with my first Check. I'm gonna get my hair layered, and.. take Michael out for dinner at The Keg (even tho he doesnt know this yet) cuz the lighting in there is sooooo romantic :).... and what else. well i dont know :p probly lots of shopping thats for sure. Hee hee im soo excited! oo wee and i just cant hide it! finally i have a life. :D ttyl!!!

Friday, July 26th, 2002
the My Profile page is complete!! go check it out! :D
okay so anyways :p,i went and picked up my check tonight from Galaxy.. grr.. and guess how much it was. come on seriously, create a number in your head. Got the Number? kay well here's the actual net amount........................................$16.53. WTF is that??? its 2.5 fricken hours, thats what it is. Ooh and my b-day is EXACTLY 4 months away, today!!! hee hee! and Austin powers came out today, with a rating of 5 stars! i want to see it sooo bad.. but i can barely afford it with my small-ass check. grrrr.. anyways ya.. ttyl

Thursday, July 25th, 2002
I went on a mission last night to read everyone's profile on my MSN list.. and boy oh boy was it fascinating!! I found out stuff about some of my friends that i didn't even know! and that, is always fun :) Oh btw, im gonna be adding a new page to my website very soon, called My Profile... (yes Grant, i stole the idea from your page :P) anyways it will basically be a whole bunch of questions, and my answers to them... example:  well on second thought, screw the example.. just go to his page at and you will see what im talking about... Oh and by the way, Grant's profile is HILARIOUS.. so prepare to laugh.. a lot :D yeah so watch for something like that coming onto my page.. except since they will be answers from the darkness of MY mind, it probly wont be nearly as funny :P  smell ya later

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
Well okay i had an interview with Walmart today.It went well, but not exactly fantastic. I dunno.. i'm kinda feeling iffy on whether or not i will get hired. And OOH we just saved some of the wedding photos onto the comp, so i can make that wedding album right now! hee.... and hmm what else.. I rollerbladed to my moms on friday because it was her 50th birthday.. and then i stayed there until this morning when she drove me to the interview. On Friday, Sean, Heather, my mom and I went  down to a play during the Fringe Festival. It was called "What Do You Think" and it was an improv show.. VERY funny. Then last night, my mom and I went to my Grandmother's house for dinner, and saw another play, this one called "The Big Stupid Improv Show" ALSO very hilarious.. way better than the WDYT one. It had us rolling with laughter :D all for $7? great deal!!! so yes.. i wanna go to the beach sometime this week, so if any of you wanna come with me, let me know...  and Thank You everyone who regularly visits my site :D I love ya'll sooo much and im SO flattered that you guys enjoy my site! (and if you DONT enjoy it.. then well i have nothing to say to you :P) ttyl!!

Thursday, July 18th, 2002
The wedding, was OH so gorgeous :D it was outside, in a backyard, and we had a wedding tent, and the weather was beautiful, and awww it was picture perfect :D  When they started reading their vows to each other, it was just... soo cute. Well my dad started reading his vows.. and you know that funny voice you get when you know you are gonna cry, but you are trying to hold it back? well he was talking with that voice, and that alone made me start crying soo much. It was just so cute :) they were sooo happy :D and once i bring the pictures up from downstairs, i will scan all the real important ones into their own special wedding photoalbum on my site :) so watch for that! :D and hmm what else... they left for their honeymoon tuesday afternoon, and returned home today at like 5.. and i couldnt get the smile off my face :) They wouldnt stop asking me "whats up? why are you in such a good mood?" but i wouldn't say anything other than "ohhh nothing" :) i guess i was so smiley for 2 reasons... #1, i love to see them so happy :) and #2, Michael and i are.. better than ever :) i am the love of his life, and he is mine... and im just.. ecstatic about the whole thing :) I kinda had a bit of a scare last night, but it was all in my head... soooo all i have to say is, I need to buy more high heels!! ;) and that little saying is only going to be understood by one person, but thats okay :) awww im all smiley and.... and well gay :P Gay in the olden days sense.... you know.. happy? :D well im gonna go now and mush myself to death.. downstairs where its cool... and yeah :d OHHH and i made a new friend :) her name is Tara and her and her parents came in from Saskatoon to come to the wedding :) She's super awesome, and i'd like to send a big shout out to her :) HEY TARA! lol well there it is... :) ttyl guys!

July 12th, 2002
Awww! my dad and Linda's wedding is tomorrow!! and i gotta be up at 8:30 >.< damn it... thats AM too.. growl :D Guess who i talked to tonight :D well you can probly figure it out if you notice all of the :D's ive been using :D yup its Michael! heehee... and.. well im glad ive made the decision to stay single for awhile... becuz as it turns out, thats all he wants too.. and besides.. guys are confusing :P lol So i went to the wedding rehearsal today, which was cool. I spent 5 hours today making ALL this food that no one ate.. bastards :P but thats okie cuz now i can eat veggie's and dip and taco salad everyday! :P WOOHOO... lol and there was the cutest, slobber-iest- (thats not a word, is it :P) German Shepard there. His owner (who's from North Carolina) just got there today, so we let him run around the back yard to stretch his legs after being cooped up in a kennel for 4 days :P the dog that is, not the owner :P Anywho, ummm im gonna go get my hair and nails done tomorrow, and then on Sunday i gotta work from 1-5 >.< but i get to pick up my check, so its all good :D "Why do they call it a check? why not a Yugoslavian?" LOL ... ttyl

Saturday, July 6th, 2002
Holy Shit a lot has happened.... okay okay last Wednesday i went on a "non" date with Eric, we went to see Mr. Deeds and that is a hilarious movie... then i got paid, and i bought a bikini :D the top is all strings/triangles (which i guess makes it a string bikini :P) and.. yes... Linda and I, while walking the dogs, we met Chris and Darren.. lol I thought Darren's name was Jay, but apparently not.. geez um crow... anyways so ive been hanging out with darren lately, and his family is SO nice! and the ironic thing? Stacey, Linda's daughter (different Linda now :P) used to go out with Darren's bestfriend Jay like 5 years ago.. so she knows him real good! lol that was scary.... and yes.. my Galaxy shifts are 1-5 on Saturday and Sunday's, but lately they have been sending me home at like 1:30 and 2.... >.< but oh well.. they gotta pay me for a minimum of 3 hours anyway!! mwhaha .. and hmm what else..i bought the Robin Black & the Intergalactic Rockstars CD, but i want to get rid of it... so if you want it, let me know and i'll only charge you $5 :P ... and I'm trying to get ahold of Michael so that I can find out what is going on between us, but everytime i phone him, he isnt home.... so oh well... YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!!! (lol!!!! i STILL love that saying)

Tuesday  ctnd
Przepraszam. Kocham Ciebie, and Brakuje mi Ciebie. 
(yes im trying to learn Polish. :) next i will be trying for Ukrainen)

Tuesday, June 25th, 2002
wtf.. i just wrote this HUGE post.. and it never even showed up! >.< anyways... yes..all i know is that its hot, i dont have air conditioning, i have NO idea what to do about Michael and I, and  YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP! (lol thanks cara :D) Luv ya'll

Monday, June 24th, 2002
Guys have SO much to learn about commenting us, don't they girls? sheesh! don't say things like "you look beautiful", and then follow it up with a " and one day you will look even better!" because shit like that just doesnt fly. i swear there should be some sort of "what to say, and what NOT to say around women" course taught in school....  ANYWAYS.. gotta love those dinner pics huh? lol now all i have to do is wait for my mom to get her film developed, and i will have more!! MORE!!! lol... yeah so i wish that night didnt have to end. in fact, i wish it was still going on RIGHT now... take me back to right when we were all standing outside, and we were talking about grabbing hot italian exchange-student Andre's ass.. all the way back to then. Damn Claire you had a hot date! lol but i hear something else happened after i left? *wink wink* with you-know-who? damn i wished i had stayed for safe grad... BASTARDS! eep.. im not sure who that sudden outburst was directed to, but it was well worth it.. yay i get paid on friday!! Joy! now i can buy myself all new cool stuff... Holy shit am i rambling on or what... ttyl!!                           (and who the hell voted me to be "Millionaire to be"?? damn its buggin me!! bah!!)

Thursday, ctnd
Oh! one more thing.. my Grad party for friends and family is on Sunday at 7pm... so i hope anyone that wants to come, can make it.. just phone me and let me know!

Thursday, June 20th, 2002
Okay so the Grad Dinner is tomorrow already! My My how time flies when you arent ready to enter the real world. :P I have my dress, I have my hair style that I want picked out (my appointment is at 3 tomorrow!! :D), and i came downstairs this morning to find a corsage on the kitchen table.. aww and here i thought i wasnt going to have one.. and its purple! the color that i wanted :D ANYWAYS.. im still sick.. got a cough and a nose that feels like its in the 1000 meter dash (and by that i mean running ;) ) and.. yes. I want to have a shower, but the washing machine is going.. and it seems to have broken >.<... this day sucks :P  Oh Oh but i DID get a job at Galaxy! i work on saturday :D woo hoo money money money!! yeah so im going to make some kraft dinner now, since i cant have spaghetti cuz we have no sauce :( .. Later!

Monday, June 10, 2002
WOO HOOOOO i got DSL! Far out man.. this is great :D I'm back on msn, icq, AND Furc... hmm now lets see... yesterday was the shittiest day. I woke up, and my back felt like an elephant had stepped on it... and it still is kinda sore.. hmm Friday i learned how to drive! (thanks to Michael) :) and even though i was really nervous, im thinking that i want to try it again. Hmm what else.. I'm STILL job hunting, although when all this rain lets up, i think i will apply at Safeways... yes that's right, Safeway'S'.. hehe.. only 3 more days of school forever! (okay well not FOREVER.. cuz i start at the U of M on Sept 5..)  and yeah speaking of that, I got accepted to the U of M! coolness eh? ack.. ANYWAYS.. grad is 2 weeks away, and I cannot wait. Whoa. It just thundered really loud. COOL. i wish we could have thunder and lightning without all this crappy rain... bah. so yeah I'm kinda running out of stuff to talk about, so I guess I will ttyl.... oh and one more thing.. I love Michael! :D yeah okay I'm going... See ya

Wednesday, May 22, 2002
I found my Grad dress! I came out of the change room, and instantly received the best compliments ever.. so i bought the dress and just like my mom, dad, and Linda all said, I look stunning in it.. Boo yah! hehe ANYWAYS the dance is tomorrow, but im not going, and im thinking about getting a job at Galaxy cuz i need $. And guess what! mwhahah i love Michael.. yup yup its true.. and the best part?  I have this feeling that we will be together forever :D awww how mushy is that.. blah... stop reading this Matt! damn it.... haha peace out

Friday, May 10, 2002
Hmm what to write, what to write... Tomorrow I'm going to go looking for a grad dress with my ma. Awesome eh? uh oh.. I better not get that started again... hmm what else.. oh yeah! I have no date for grad :( Bah who needs guys.. damn guys.. I'm single, and I'm pretending to love it... hahaha Matt is trying to read this but i won't let him! mwhahah.. ANYWAYS.. Some prick is going around Furc saying that I'm dead.. well here's some helpful info : I'M NOT! I'm alive and well, and feelin great. Almost time for grad! one month away.. Exciting stuff! This summer my dad and his fiance Linda are getting married! and I'm gonna be in the wedding party.. the bad thing about that is the fact that my brother Sean and i will be the tallest ones in the picture.. lol so umm yeah all i have left to say is..... Out of my way Jerk ass!

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002.. my first entry.
-Hooray for hump day! tonight, i have the teen talk monthly meeting. That's it for my plans :P Tomorrow, I have the great honour of having to call the U of M and clear up my new address and phone number changes. Wow. LOL this entry is just over flowing with excitement and thrills, eh? Ack! i said eh! damn it.. I played right into the typical Canadian stereotype. Next i will be saying something about donuts, or mounties right? No fricken way! i don't play by any rules except my own.. And i mean that literally. I cheat at solitare! mwhaha i bet you didnt know THAT about me now did you. thats what i thought. Yes, i know, i have a funny way of only sometimes using the proper spelling, capitilization and puncuation rules.. but i guess that just sums up the fact that i am strange. anyone that knows me well enough knows the true definition of my unique capabilities of which i use to my best advantage.. Right now you are probly saying to yourself, "huh??" and to that i say Damn Right. If you are still reading this, you are more loyal than i thought. If it was me reading this, i would have been gone long ago. Wait a minute, i AM reading this. and im bored. Oh look! that dog has a poofy tail! ----->

The best quote ever...... "I'm not sleeping, I'm resting my eyes"
(Okay so its not the best ever.. gimme a break im at school) (and im bored out of my face)