How can I miss you, if you wont go away?
So many men, so few who can afford me
Bitchy when provoked
you are reinforcing my inherent mistrust of strangers
VENI, VEDI, VELCRO
I came, i saw, i got stuck
I WANT YOU
to stay far, far away from me
GUN CONTROL
isn't needed as much as PARENTAL control
If we weren't meant to eat animals,
how come they're made out of meat?
Handguns dont kill people
nearly as well as automatic assault weapons do
Your village called. They're missing an idiot.
If you're not a hemroid, get off my ass.
You want breakfast in bed? Sleep in the kitchen!
Martha Stewart makes me hot
I HATE BUMPER STICKERS
If there isn't chocolate in heaven, I ain't goin.
If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If we can put a
MAN on the MOON, why not all of them?
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
Guess where I'm pierced
Do
I LOOK like a freakin people person?
I would love to trade Caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
Everyone is entitled
to my opinion.
My child sold your
H O N O U R S T U D E N T
the answers to the test.
Zero to Bitch
in 3.5 seconds.
To save time, let's just agree that I know everything.
Save an animal. Eat a VEGETARIAN.
I
AM in shape. Round is a shape.
A little bit of rich can cover up a whole lotta stupid.
Hug a LOGGER. You'll
never go back to a tree.
Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps.
I kept reading that junk
food is unhealthy,
So i gave up reading.
My God can beat up your God!
I DONT REPEAT GOSSIP
so listen
carefully.
I'm not playing with myself,
I'm adjusting my jewelry.
I talk to strangers.
If you
can't beat them,
Arrange to have them beaten.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Stupid should Hurt.
Got Brains?
I don't do requests.
Stop Global Whining.
The beatings will continue until morale
improves.
Love is Blind, but marriage is a good eye-opener
Men are IDIOTS (and I married their king)
Coffee.
Chocolate. Men.
Some things are just better Rich.
The "Marriage Penalty" has nothing to do with taxes.
Sometimes
I wake up Grumpy.
Other times I let her sleep.
The key to any relationship is sincerity.
Once you can fake
that, the rest is easy.
Men with an earring make the best husbands.
They can take pain, and know how to buy jewelry.
You can't make a person love you,
you can only stalk them until they do.
If it has tires or testicles,
it's gonna give you problems.
The problem with sex in the movies,
is your popcorn usually spills.
Never
underestimate the power
of stupid people in large groups.
You don't HAVE to talk to your kids about sex.
Somebody
else will be glad to.
Stop Animal Experiments.
Use Lawyers.
